I haven’t been writing a lot lately, mostly because we have been in crisis mode and I don’t like to get negative. During this time I vent – and I mean vent! – to certain friends who always just listen and make me smile. Then I keep going and doing what I have to do, or, I should say, figuring out what I have to do. That is 90% of the battle.
Monday I had to call the bus company and tell them not to pick Rachel up for school in the morning. She was surprised that I did this, I threw a wrench in her pattern of acting however she wanted in the morning and still getting on the bus. Frankly, we didn’t know if we were going to send her back to that school at all. This is her last year, and I think she’s just had it. She knows it too well and knows how far she can go with behaviors and still be back the next day.
Well, Monday I had to explain to her that if she were going to fight me all morning, I couldn’t send her on the bus and to school anymore. I couldn’t spend all day afraid of a phone call that she had another particularly bad outburst that could hurt someone else.
We take it one day at a time, right? So I woke her up Tuesday and asked her if she wanted me to call the bus company again. She popped up and said “No, I’ll get ready!” When she was waiting for the bus I gave her one of those rubber wristbands to wear, and I told her whenever she feels like she may get angry, look at the wristband and tug on it. It’s working so far, thank goodness those things are nearly unbreakable!
Of course nothing is permanent in our lives, or even consistent, and this new calm will probably only last for days or weeks. But that’s okay, because it’s my job to figure it out. But it’s also my job to make sure that I work through my feelings, and make sure I vent enough that stay in good enough mental shape to take care of her! If she had an illness and needed help, I wouldn’t tell her she was on her own.
In the meantime I am enjoying reading what everyone else is writing. And I am remembering that I am not alone, and that we are blessed to be able to appreciate the calm between the storms all the more. We will never be those people who take everything in life for granted, and I am thankful we’ve been taught to see how good the good is. We’ll never be those people who can’t enjoy life because they have no idea what they have to be thankful for!